When arguing in a relationship, sometimes the anger overrides everything else and causes you to forget the real reason an argument ensued in the first place.

Then you realize, that you have moved from the issue itself and it is now about winning the argument and proving your partner wrong.

Pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself, is it about winning or actually making your partner understand you? If it is the latter, then maybe, just maybe this article might be for you.

Stop trying to compete with him or her. Through the whole heated discussion and argument, realize that it is not a competition, it is a partnership. It is about you and your man/woman.

Realize also that you are not in this to win anything, you are in it because you love the person and you care about him or her.

Put this in mind whenever you are arguing so things don’t get ruined in the process. Don’t fight dirty, fight clean. Don’t compare your partner with anybody and don’t use the opportunity to recount everything bad he/she has done in the past.

This is about something new, don’t add anything from the past. Listen to him/her and let them talk, and encourage them to do same so at the end of the day you would have solved the quarrel not made it worse.

Move on from the argument when it is all over, there is no reason to lock it up safely somewhere in your head and tell yourself you would remember to use it next time when an argument ensues.

Move on and learn from the argument.

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